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ARTICLES
Testing times for Olympic athletes
Are athletes honourable competitors, or a bunch of blitzed-out space monkeys? Sam Bowring makes up his own mind.
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Congratulations, it's a photo op!
With baby photos fetching millions of dollars, Terri Psiakis suggests that it might be worth popping out one for mum, one for dad, and one for the mortgage.
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Fuelled by a tankful attitude
Petrol prices are sky-high but surely that's not a good thing, right? Dave Jory adds fuel to a very expensive fire.
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Weapons of mass deception
Iran’s ballistic missile push-up bra is a touch over the top and completely unnecessary to boot, says Kent Valentine.
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Overtired and under arrest
Are serial killers crazy or lazy? Dave Jory takes a stab at the conundrum.
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Bat expectations
The new Batman film, 'The Dark Knight' is almost here and Kent Valentine is so excited that he's also a little sad.
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Man gives birth to scepticism
After a pregnant 'man' gives birth, Sam Bowring wonders if 'Where Did I Come From?' will have to publish a special edition.
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Nicole Kidman's moulin flute
Listening to music while giving birth is fine, but Terri Psiakis can't understand what Our Nic hears in Those Flutes.
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Bundy bears the wrath of Roxon
As the government's war on binge drinking continues, Sam Bowring reports from the trenches.
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Passport stamps of disapproval
There’s no one like a customs officer to tell you what they really think of you, discovers Kent Valentine.
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Drinking four better or four worse
If four drinks is a binge, binge on! Sam Bowring spews his disdain.
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Aliens target the alienated
A suspicious Dave Jory wonders why it's always the complete nerds who get abducted by aliens.
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Hit songs from the slammer
More bands should be locked up to get the jailhouse rocking, says Andrew Furze.
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A very sorry state of affairs
Public figures are apologising left, right and centre. Sam Bowring says, stick it.
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Mousing an offer you can't refuse
Terri Psiakis discovers tiny poopies and immediately puts out a hit on a tiny bottom.
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Diary of an emo newbie
Andrew Furze plunges into the deep end and goes emo for a month.
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Lost divers swimming in offers
Two men were rescued and promptly drowned in a sea of cash, writes Sam Bowring.
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Dog-boy slaves for everyone
Britain, or the Island of Dr Moreau? Sam Bowring asks the difficult questions.
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Let There Be Aliens
The Vatican has said alien life would not contradict belief in God. Sam Bowring opinionates.
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Better Chances of Space Death :)
Ignorance can be bliss, especially when it involves not knowing about death meteors from space. Sam Bowring cringes beneath the heavens.
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You Can't Relay on the West
Amidst torch relay chaos, Sam Bowring points fingers at pointing fingers.
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The Joy of Text
A friend in need prompts Terri Psiakis to contemplate the intricacies of text between consenting adults.
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Terri's Restaurant Rules
Eating out more than once a week gives Terri Psiakis the idea that she knows what she's talking about when it comes to restaurants.
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Getting Australia Wired
Sam Bowring forms a scatty opinion of the Labor government's new internet overhaul.
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The Space Gun Race
Of all places, they want to ban weapons in space. "Who knew that’s where they were?" writes Nick Maxwell.
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Crying High
A new survey shows that people don't want to sit next to babies on planes. In other news, the sky is blue. Sam Bowring babbles on.
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Having Sex Pays Off for J-Lo
Should celebs be allowed to sell the souls of humans too young to object? Sam Bowring suggests ‘"possibly not".
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Boyz 2 Men
The AFL is putting out a DVD to teach young players about how to respect women and Kent Valentine wonders how it got to this.
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Bondage Elephantasies
Sam Bowring takes a close look at animals doing "it", of all things.
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Rules To Gig By
Terri Psiakis mops her brow, pinches her nose and dives headlong into the art of gigging without offending.
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Prescription: Good Times
A new vending machine in the US is offering patients easy green for their greenbacks. Sam Bowring takes a whiff.
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Economic Armageddon and You
Sam Bowring takes a look at the market crash and other things he doesn't understand.
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Moon Tans Trendy Again
An anti-tanning campaign launching throughout Australia has pleased Sam Bowring for his own insecure reasons.
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Difficult to Swallow
Michael Chamberlin discovers we're the fifth fattest nation in the world and is appalled. We should be fatter!
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Howard's Helper
With John Howard on the hunt for an assistant, Nick Maxwell ponders what duties would befall the successful applicant.
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Robots Anyone?
If robots are perennially proposed as finally available for personal human assistance, Nick Maxwell wonders how come they always turn out so crap?
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A Plane Fare for Plain Fare
Mystery flights are making a comeback, which is the biggest mystery of all. Sam Bowring says so.
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Howard Showers
As John Howard is forced to concede his long-time seat of Bennelong, Nick Maxwell contemplates his path now.
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The Golden Ruckus
If you can't stand the heat, stop burning books. Sam Bowring has a go
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Humming Along to the Tune of Capitalism
Hummers are proving popular in Australia, causing Sam Bowring to utterly lose faith in his fellow citizens.
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A Whale of a Bad Time
Sam Bowring takes a look at the whacky antics of those crazy Japanese whalers.
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How to Behave in Court
Nick Maxwell's never had to defend himself in front of a magistrate but gives the manner in which to do so a day in court.
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Champions of Nothing
Sam Bowring takes a look at dickheads doing dumb-ass things to get their names in a stupid book.
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When Television Had Magnum
What happened to the days when the smooth talking private investigators were solving the crimes, writes Nick Maxwell.
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It's a Matter of Scale
There’s never been a better time to be in debt. It's cool. It's hip. 'In the red' is the new black. But, as Charlie Pickering finds out, the graphs aren't always what they seem.
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They Ain't Making Heroes Like They Used To
From taxi drivers to housewives, everyone has an opinion about Ben Cousins. Charlie Pickering certainly does, and he has a forum to share it in. Read on.
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All Hail the Barber!
Michael Chamberlin heaps praise on the man with the coloured pole out the front.
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Private Dicks Withdraw
No longer will we be able to sleep with hookers at taxpayer's cost. Sam Bowring laments.
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The Pants Man
Nick Maxwell asks if it's just him, or everyone, who finds it almost impossible to buy pants.
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A Light-hearted Look at State Sanctioned Homicide
When it comes to punishing the worst of the worst, is the death penalty the answer? Perhaps a fate worse than death, suggests Charlie Pickering.
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Motivate Me!
Michael Chamberlin wants to know why you need words when actions will do just fine.
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I Do... For A While
Sam Bowring wonders if celebrities missed the newsflash that they don't have to marry everyone they date.
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WARNING: Geometric Coincidences May Offend!
What do you get when the US Navy accidentally places four buildings together that kind of resemble a nazi symbol when viewed from space? Charlie Pickering discusses a storm of controversy in a teacup of pointlessness.
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The Carpark
Nick Maxwell overcomes his fear of parking garages and turns into Hollywood gold.
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A Nazi Piece of Work
Sticks and stones may break some bones, but if you're going to call someone a Nazi. You better be ready to back it up. Charlie Pickering explains.
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The Blurry Face of Evil - Maybe
Sam Bowring wonders why anyone bothers to show pictures of things that can't be seen.
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Electioneering with the Election Nearing
After a leadership tussle and many doubts, John Howard has committed to a long, glorious, dedicated, energetic future of almost certainly less than but definitely not more than two years. Charlie Pickering considers John Howard's leadership in the distant world of tomorrow.
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Freebasing Freedom Furniture
How could shopping for furniture feel so good? Claire Hooper discovers that Freedom has distilled sofa shopping to a fine crack rock which'll set you back around $3500.
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The Sound of One Hand Clapping
Putting an idea out there can be hard enough, but tougher still; Nick Maxwell discusses the abject pain when people leave you hanging.
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Turning the Volume ( of Waste ) Up
Gone are the days of burying your TV under that ol' apple tree, Sam Bowring laments.
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It`s - Not The - Time
The election is only weeks away and the Libs nearly lost their minds. For the good of the nation, Michael Chamberlin discusses why John Howard must stay our leader.
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Wil Anderson
One of Australia's funniest comedians, Wil's starred recently on TV's The Gruen Transfer and can be heard on Triple M's national Drive Show.
Delta Goodrem
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Tickets to Rove's 2008 stand-up tour in Perth are now on sale. Click through for details! >>