DAILY NEWS - Rove Daily

CELEB RECIPES

Britney's $65m Toastie

2 slices bread
1 slice cheese
Margarine for spreading
$65 million
1 large serve of “what the %$@?”

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South Australian Family Fun Cakes

1 father
1 daughter
1 million cups of social disapproval
300ml of morbid fascination
1 jar of ‘hundreds & thousands’

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Brangelina Twincakes

1 teaspoon of Brad's seed
The fruit of Angelina's ovaries
1 uterus (preferably used)

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Britney's Reconciliation Cookies

2 teaspoons of Britney begging
3 cups of Federline flour
1/4 cup of chopped nuts
1 cup of choc chips
1 'peace' pipe
1 forgotten custody battle
250ml liqueur for 'glazing'

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Lara Bingle's Out-of-Petrol Pie

2 cups of Lara Bingle
1 large 4WD with fully-operational dashboard display
1 packet Butternut Snap biscuits
250g butter, melted
2 tablespoons of conveniently-placed photographers
500mls of Michael Clarke
1 jerry-can of condensed milk
1 large scoop of who gives a %#*@?

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Christmas Party Passiona Punch

5 HOURS OF FREE BOOZE
10 REPRESSED CRUSHES
30 BUBBLING GRUDGES
1 BOSS DRESSED AS SANTA
1 SENSE OF BETTER JUDGMENT
1 PHOTOCOPY ROOM

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Australian Election Promises Picnic

1 BIG BASKET
A BIJILLION DOLLARS
LOTS OF COMPUTERS
NUMEROUS BRAIN SCANNER THINGYS
1 WOODLAND CREATURE (PREFERABLY CUTE)
A MOUTHFUL OF DENTURES
1 DIDGERIDOO
PART OF A HOUSE
A BABY

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President Musharraf's Emergency Chicken Curry

1 LARGE CHICKEN
OTHER UNDESIRABLE INGREDIENTS
1 ARMY

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Japan’s Scientific Sushi Salad

1 HARPOON OF MINKE
1 HARPOON OF FIN
1 HARPOON OF HUMPBACK (WHITE IF YOU CAN GET IT)
1 GREEN PIECE OF SALAD

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Kevin Rudd's Ear Jam

1 SML FINGER
1 EAR

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John Howard's Wormfeed

1 CUP HOUSEHOLD SCRAPS
1/2 TSP TAX REFORM
1 HANDFUL WORKCHOICES
33MLS INTEREST RATES
1 WHOLE PETER COSTELLO

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Radiohead`s Download Delight

1 CUP HONEY
3 BENDY BANANAS
1 TSP CHOKOLATE
SOME 'A'
TUESDAY NIGHT
2+2=5
7 RAINBOWS

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Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon Wedding Cake

2 SURPRISINGLY SMALL CUPS OF MILK
1/2 A BRAIN OF SUGAR
1 EGG WHITE (BIKINI)
2 COMPLETE SPOONS OF DESPERATELY SELF-RAISING FLOUR
1 YOU TUBE OF DARK HAZY-GREEN ICING

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Britney Spears` Xanax Thick Shake

1 CUP FULL CREAM MILK
1 CUP MIXED SEDATIVES
1 TSP THICKENER
2 HAND-FULLS ICE (POSSIBLY)
2-3 KIDS

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Las Vegas Police Dept`s OJ Karmic Smoothie

1 CUP OF OJ
2 DOLLOPS OF OF LUCK
1 BLOODIED KNIFE
1 GLOATING BOOK
1 BLATANTLY STUPID ARMED ROBBERY
1 BUCKET ICE

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Liberal Party`s Parliament Play Lunch

1 CHEESE FINGER
BAG OF SNAKES
POLLY WAFFLE
1 MANDARIN
SMALL WATER
SHAME SANDWICH
MENZIES LUNCH BOX

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The McCann`s Dingo Pudding

1 MASHED BANANA
1 CUP MILK
1/2 CUP SUGAR
1 PINCH OF SUSPICION

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Greg Norman`s Club Sandwich

CHICKEN
BACON
TOMATO
LETTUCE
A HEAP OF BREAD
1 PISSED-OFF WIFE
CHRIS EVERT

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Andrew Johns` Boogie Knights Biscuits

TOO MUCH DOUGH
TOO MUCH TIME
OTHER STUFF FROM 'A GUY YOU KNOW'

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Kevin Rudd`s Chicken Strips

500g CHICKEN BREAST
1 BOTTLE CHERRY SCHNAPPS
1 FAT WAD OF $20s

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Howard`s Internet Phish Pie

1 CRUSTY PASTORY
SEAFOOD
C WORDS
ANYTHING INCLUDING THE WORDS 'MY' & 'FACE'
10 INCHES OF ENLARGED PENIS

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Lindsay Lohan`s Crossed-Finger Buns

2 FAST RISING BUNS
6 WEEKS OF PROMISES
6 BOTTLES OF VODKA
1 BAG OF 'ICING SUGAR'

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Peter Costello`s Slow Cooked Rooster

1 ROOSTER
1 KNIFE

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Glenn Wheatley`s Swiss Cheese Dough Ball

1 TBSP SALT
500G WHITE FLOUR
20G YEAST
300ML WATER
1 BLOCK SWISS CHEESE
30 TAX BOOKS

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Political Hash Cookie

500g PACK OF COOKIE DOUGH
5g HASH
1 CUP OF GOOD TIMES

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Mixed Persian Salad

1 COLD EVIL REGIME (ONCE COOKED)
1 UNRELATED CATASTROPHIC INCIDENT
1 GREAT DEMOCRATIC MESSAGE
1 GREAT ALLIANCE
0 WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
26 MILLION OPPRESSED PEOPLE
1 UNSTABLE REGION
A WHOLE LOT OF TERROR
200 BILLION BARRELS CRUDE OIL

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Pasha Bulker Pie Floater

1 LARGE PIE CRUST
500g BEEF
1 CAN OF PEAS
A WHOLE LOT OF SEA SALT

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Paris Hilton`s Special Soothing Skin Cream

1 POT OF JAM
1 CUP OF CELEBRITY
2 CUPS OF WATER
1 BIG F%#K OFF MANSION
1 JAR OF CHEAP SKIN CREAM

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George and Vlad`s Cold War Sundae

2 SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM
CHOCOLATE SAUCE
1 SENSE OF 80s NOSTALGIA
2 NUTTY NUTS
BANANAS
A WHOLE LOT OF MISSILES

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Tony Mokbel`s Coffee Surprise

12 GROUND UP COFFEE BEANS
1 CUP OF HOT WATER
1 BAD WIG
1 SMUG EXPRESSION
10 ARMED POLICE

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Britney Spears` Turkey Melt

1 TURKEY LEG
2 SLICES OF CHEESE
1 HEAD OF LETTUCE
2 GREAT BUNS
125 ROTTEN TOMATOES
12 ANTI DEPRESSANTS

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Dean Mighell`s ETU Turkey Flambé

1 Turkey
1/2 cup of rum (though possibly more)
1 massive mouth
1 massive foot
1 Labor membership

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Carl Williams` Toasted Cheese Sandwich

2 Bread slices
2 Cheese Slices
2 Bags of Amphetamines
1 Can Petrol
1 Box Matches
1 Polo windcheater
1 Tsp Paranoia
Lust for power
Pathological murderous intent

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