The Deathly Death

With rumours abounding that the latest Harry Potter film, The Deathly Hollows, may be cursed, Devon Quince asks director David Yates if a real death is on the cards.

I am no Harry Potter fan. I'm not one of these fully grown adults who gets some childish kick out of lauding kids' films (although I did love that Alvin and Chipmunks, but that little masterpiece was the exception which proves the rule).

So being sent along to interview the director of the next Potter film was less than under whelming. Although, apparently the set has been riddled with problems and people say it might be cursed. So that was something to keep me going.

Devon Quince: So David, this film isn’t due out until 2010?

David Yates: That’s right.

DQ: Is this because the film is cursed and everything is going wrong or you’re just kind of a lazy guy?

DY: Well, I don’t know how much you know about the film industry…

DQ: Oh, I think I know a fair bit about the f*cking film…

DY: Well it’s a fairly slow, meticulous business- and it’s going to take that long to finish.

DQ: Oh right. Was it a fairly slow, meticulous process on your TV-movie Sex Traffic?

DY: Yes. Yes it was.

DQ: Nice title, Scorsese. What about these rumours the set has been plagued with mishaps and misfortune.

DY: Yes. We have had some bad luck. Some storms recently…

DQ: What? You don’t check a weather report? What, are you like the worst director ever?

DY: Unforseen storms, I should say.

DQ: Oh…unforseen, right. That’s what they said on The Crow- ‘Those live bullets were unforseen.’ Yeah, well SOMEONE’S BEEN SHOT!

DY: Stop yelling, please. Nothing like that has happened on our set. I don’t know why you are saying this stuff…

DQ: You’ve got to be careful. And it sounds like you haven’t a clue about how to…

DY: I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m not going to take a second more of this. You ask me here to talk about the movie…

DQ: Oh, just shut up and let’s get through this, OK.

DY: -

DQ: So, does Harry die or what?

DY: What? I think you know I’m not going to talk about that.

DQ: Come on. You think I really want to talk about some magic kids film?

DY: -

DQ: Dish me the goss on old dead man Potter.

DY: No.

DQ: Come on…

DY: Read the book.

DQ: No.

DY: OK. Don’t. I don’t care.

DQ: Fine. Well. Good luck on your doomed film.

DY: Thank you.

With an attitude like that my tip is he'll be straight back to cheap TV-movies like Sex Traffic. And I wouldn't be surprised if this Harry potter never got made. Way to disappoint the kids, David!