A Bundchen of Quinces

After cancelling her Australian visit, Rove Daily's Devon Quince is back on the international interview trail, jetting off to the US to track down the world's richest model, Gisele Bundchen.

There is a God. After a full month stuck in this burnt, brown hell we call a country, I finally got an international interview. Gisele Bundchen cancelled her trip to Sydney, which meant I was off to LA!

On the plane as we were preparing for landing, I dropped a small origami moose I had fashioned from a page in the in-flight magazine. Picking it up, my arm brushed the backside of one of the air hostesses. Now it's fairly obvious I'm not that way inclined, but even if I was this lass would not be on my list. I’ve been around the world; I've seen a million girls. Well, this dreamer kicked up an almighty fuss, lecturing me in front of the other passengers. Don't worry, I gave as good as I got, but the whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth.

As I arrived at Gisele's place (or should I say, palace), I tried to put the plane incident out of my mind. After a good fifteen minutes getting from the gates to where Gisele was waiting by the pool, I was ready chat to the amazon.

Devon Quince: Good afternoon, my dear.

Gisele Bundchen: Deeevon, how are you?

DQ: The last time I saw you, you were running around with that Di Caprio fella…

GB: Little Leo. Oh, that is so yaesterdie!

DQ: Maybe for you! That little devil is gorgeous!

GB: Thankyou Deeevon.

DQ: I was talking about Leo…

GB: Yeah right! You're so fah-nay…and cute.

With a wink and a lick of her lips I could see Gisele was serious. How was Quincey going to get out of this one?

DQ: Ahhh, say…you wouldn’t have a drink would you? I'm so parched. All your male security guards have got my heart all a flutter...

GB: Hahaha! So amusing. Of course baby, hang on...

And with a jaunty snap of her bikini bottoms she jumped up to get us some drinks. What was I going to do? In my anxiety I fashioned another origami moose out of one of my pages of questions, without even realising it. Galloping Terry (the moose) down my leg, it dropped to the ground. As I leaned to pick it up, Gisele returned and retracting my arm, it gently grazed her backside. I couldn’t believe it. Not again!? I thought lightening never stuck twice…

DQ: Oh, sorry about that, there…ahhh…

GB: Deevon! You feisty little fiat man!

DQ: What? No, I dropped my little moose and…

GB: A mouse! Hilarious. You're so cute and comical, I want you in my beedroom.

DQ: Oh, you have a bead room? Thank god for that. I thought you wanted to have sex with me. Let's look at the beads?

GB: No silly. My beedroom. Take him.

As one of Gisele's man servants led me to her "beedroom" I thought I'd much rather spend an hour in there with him. What would I tell the old girl when she arrived? The incident on the plane suddenly didn’t seem so bad. This time old Qunicy's moose had got him into real trouble.

Now, I don't kiss and tell, but let's just say I let the old girl off easy- I faked a heart attack and spent the night in hospital. But still, I got the scoop and was back on a plane the next day- and this time I made sure I saved the origami until I reached the sun-drenched hell hole I call home.

For whatever reason, Devon Quince is still a reporter for Rove Daily.