Drinking four better or four worse

If four drinks is a binge, binge on! Sam Bowring spews his disdain.

So the government has proclaimed that four delicious alcoholic beverages now constitutes binge drinking. This makes you a binge drinker, me a binge drinker, your mother a binge drinker, and probably, your postman. That's right – they've turned Friendly Steve, the lovable neighbourhood parcel mule, into a slovenly vociferous letterbox fiddler - and all through the power of definition.

Four drinks is about the same as three stubbies, half a bottle of wine, a single long island ice tea, or even a kiss from an afternoon grandma. If you turned up to Alcoholics Anonymous and told them you had half a bottle of wine with dinner, they'd laugh anonymously in your face.
Four drinks brings us up to binge level so fast, there's nowhere else to go. Have four drinks, you're on a binge. Four more – still on a binge. Sixteen drinks? Why not! I'm already on a binge, I may as well! Make it thirty! Woo hoo!

It's just amazing that in the wake of the 2020 Summit of Great Big Ideas, the main thing Rudd seems to be doing is attacking booze. Wasn't that something prohibition did in the 1920s? And to think I was hoping we'd all get flying cars.

And this four drinks thing is only the latest of spiels – there's also been teenage drinking, alcohol taxation, warning labels on booze, Australians turning up drunk to work, and more… Following the 'four equals a binge' logic, the government is clearly binging on stories about binging. Well you've had enough, government! It's time to refuse you service.

I say don't let the government turn us into binge drinkers. I say stand up, ignore the sensation of the room spinning, and spew your disdain all over their shoes.

You keep telling us to lay off the booze Mr Rudd, but really, it's time to lay off the booze!