Having Sex Pays Off for J-Lo

Should celebs be allowed to sell the souls of humans too young to object? Sam Bowring suggests ‘"possibly not".

If you thought profiteering from children was limited to factories in third world nations, think again. It’s also common practice amongst celebrities, who sell pictures of their kids for heaps of cash. Even for the super rich, whose only possible reason for needing more money is to turn it into shelving for the old money, there’s a bundle to be made from exploiting children. You might even call it a ‘bundle of joy’.

Christina Aguilera is rumoured to have received $1.5 million for posing with her newborn son on the cover of People magazine. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got $4 million for posing with their daughter, Shiloh, which they donated to charity. The money, not the daughter. It would kinda defeat the purpose of all their adopting if, for every child they took from a poverty stricken country, they had to give one back.

Most recently it’s Jennifer Lopez who has leapt on the bandwagon, grabbed hold of the reins, whipped the horses off a cliff, and parasailed away with everyone’s wristwatches. She is set to receive 6 million bucks (or 6.5 of the Australian equivalent - buckeroos) for the first pictures of her twins, just freshly emerged.

You can see from the picture above that Jennifer was quite heavily invested and was no doubt highly excited about the impending delivery, of the cheque.

I tell you what, if I was one of her kids, as soon as I was old enough to understand the concept of ‘money’, I’d be wanting my cut. And don’t give me any of this ‘it’ll be part of your inheritance’ crap, Mum Lo.

‘You sold photos of me when I was a newborn for six million dollars? I don’t recall giving my permission for that. You better hand that over ... time to party. Eat your heart out, Corey.’

Personally, if I were a trash mag-nate, I’d offer 3 mil for one of the twins, then photoshop it into the picture twice. Who’s going to know?

As it turns out I’m not, so the least I can hope is that they turn out to be some real ugly babies, which would kind of make a dickhead out of everyone involved.

- Sam Bowring