I Like My Cooking Shows Well Done

If you can't take the heat, f*ck off, writes Sam Bowring.


I'm watching a fair bit of the various Gordon Ramsay shows at the moment; Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Hell's Kitchen and of course CSI: Gordon Ramsay. Enjoying it immensely too, and enjoying the furore it’s causing amongst parent groups and the Catholic Church.

One big complaint is about the frequency of the swearing … but if Ramsay spoke any higher than the 20, 000 HZ range, it would only be heard by dogs. And who cares what dogs think?

Personally I think the Catholic Church should curb it's 'holier than thou' (ha) attitude about the effect of too much swearing on society, and maybe concentrate of the effect of too many priests in children. I'd suggest if the religious see something offensive on TV, they should simply switch off. After all when religious TV comes on at 4:30am and offends my sensibilities, I know it's time to switch off and possibly go to bed, or at least pass out on the couch. I mean if I'm up that late on a Sunday, how am I going to feel in church the next day? Probably quite absent. I guess that's my choice though.

As for incensed parents, I've read recently that many parents claim 'just turn it off' is a tired argument – I agree, it is tired. It's tired of being so simple and true that no one pays it any attention. If you lack the control and willpower to go and remove your 10 year old from the glow of the TV, it might be time to have a good hard look at yourself in the reflection of your chardy glass, and tell yourshelf ish time to get sherious about parenting, hic.

Some parents have said 'anyone who argues "just turn it off" obviously doesn't have kids, or know anything about parenting'. Well, I don’t have kids, but I'm pretty sure I remember my parents having kids. And, as one of those, I remember being set limits and made to obey them, being put to bed at a reasonable hour, I remember not having a computer or television in my room … so may I politely suggest that parents who argue the above are full of 'stuff and nonsense' as my mother used to say, and should stick their argument 'into a box that’s being mailed to Hawaii' as my father used to say.

In fact there's so much fuss about this show, it's sparked a senate enquiry into use of language on TV. Liberal Senator Bernardi says 'If I stood up in Parliament and used the type of language that is now being broadcast over our television screens, there would be public outrage.' Why that's true, Senator Bernardi. There would also be public outrage if you stood up in parliament and announced you could dance, or started investigating murders in Miami, or whispering to ghosts, or reading the news in Italian. Go buy a new argument, nimrod - one I couldn’t drive a fuck truck through.

In the meantime, shush and let me enjoy the freedom of living in a progressive society where people are allowed to make their own choices, and if that involves watching a bloke swearing his head off in the kitchen, so be it, and fuck yas.