Review: New Year's Eve

While some people see New Year as an opportunity to break out the champagne, renowned pessimist Terri Psiakis sees it as a reminder to break out the Pine-O-Cleen.

Most people are sliding into relax mode at this time of year, winding down and putting their feet up. Not me. I'm putting every ounce of energy I have into cleaning: inside the house, outside the house. Last weekend we even cleaned out the shed. As we scrub, sweep and tidy every corner of everything we own my bloke looks at me with what can only be described as pure resentment but as I always say: "Don't blame me. Blame my grandmother."

In case you didn't know, my family background is Greek. And I know what you're thinking but just relax, it's ok: we think Nick Giannopoulos is a bit of a dick as well. But because I grew up with a Greek heritage I was also privy to all the superstitions that entails.

Greeks have a superstition for just about everything. I don't know why: they just do. For example, my grandmother always told us it was bad luck to put money on the bed. Personally, I was always worried that if anyone came into my room and saw money on the bed they'd think I was some kind of prostitute. The cash-only kind.

Nan also told us it was bad luck to hand a knife directly to someone or let them hand one directly to us. We have to either put the knife down in front of them for them to pick up or they should do the same, the reason being that if two people have their hands on the same knife at the same time, they'll come to blows. Which the Bloke actually thought was quite the prospect until I explained to him that "come to blows" actually means "have a fight".

But the big superstition was always the one about the New Year: Nan always said that having a dirty house at midnight on New Year's Eve would bring bad luck. According to my grandmother the cleaner the home, the more good luck would be brought to its inhabitants during the year. Why did we have "Greeks On The Roof?" Because they were cleaning it. Hence my yearly obsession with removing every speck of anything from inside, outside and around our house.

Although I must stress: I'm not superstitious. The only reason I follow these superstitions is because I'm a pessimist. Some people see the glass half full, I see it half-empty and chipped. Therefore I follow superstitions not because I actually believe in them but because I believe that something bad will happen if I don't follow them. It's the reason why, if you open the glove-box of my car, you'll find it's full of grains of rice (long story but suffice to say Nan strikes again.)

So every year, the race to clean is on. And it's not just me: during the countdown to midnight at a New Year's party my parents threw when I was about seven, I distinctly remember observing my mother climb onto a chair in the dining room to remove a cobweb she just noticed she'd missed. My poor mum: everyone else was celebrating and she was still giving the place one last, desperate once-over.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm keen for a lucky 2008 so it's back to the cleaning. And I also need to duck out to the shops so the Bloke and I have new undies to wear on New Year's Day. Sometimes I think my grandmother makes this stuff up just to mess with us. Life would be so much easier had I been raised by wolves instead of wogs.

- Terri Psiakis