Election envy

Come November 4, the world will once again shift nervously in its seat while the registered voters of the United States decide the fate of the free world. Scary huh?

Since the President of the United States is generally considered to be one of the most powerful people in the world, why can’t well all have a vote? I’ve been voting in Australia for over ten years now, and I reckon I’m getting pretty good at it. I’m not saying that I could vote us out of global financial meltdown, or that I could vote up a cure for cancer, but I’ve seen all seven seasons of The West Wing and I’m pretty sure that I could at least avoid voting for someone with Deliverance-level intelligence and the foreign policy of Darth Vader.

It’s just that I don’t trust America to make the right choice. I know that it’s their country, but it’s OUR world and the last eight years have been a little shit. I don’t want to continue to be a potential terrorist target because a man in Indiana (who is probably his own half-brother) happens to be afraid of science and gays.

If every country were contained within its own hermetically sealed bio-dome (with Pauly Shore inside the American one), I wouldn’t care who they elected. Hell, if that were actually the case, I’d almost encourage them to vote for Pauly just to see how messed up a country can actually get. But since this is a big ol’ global village where we all intermingle like body fluids on a Contiki tour, then I think that it’s fair that we all have some input in who represents us.

Still not convinced of our right to have some input in the US elections? Then consider this: whenever aliens visit Earth in the movies, the President of the United States always gets involved; (s)he always meets the little green men and I don’t think that person should be someone who believes that the aliens were probably on the ark with Noah.

- Kent Valentine