Mile high viewing

Qantas has cancelled its plans to rollout an in-flight internet service, only days after American Airlines faced complaints because passengers were using a similar service to surf for hardcore pornography.

Obviously, the possibility of internet-based air-porn is a threat to the sensibilities of children, the religious and the prudish, but how is it different to any of the “offline” ways that you can currently view pornography while flying the friendly skies? Books, magazines, iPods, laptops, portable DVD players and View-Masters are all capable of delivering mountains of air-porn right into your brain without so much as a WWW.

What Qantas has failed to consider is that the internet contains one or two websites that are not related to pornography, and that those websites may be useful to passengers as either information resources or tools of work. Apparently you can also use the internet to purchase goods and services! Just because you offer internet access doesn’t mean that everyone will automatically dive headlong into a well-lubricated puddle of filth and shame, and those that do, are going to look at porn anyway, internet or not.

Perhaps Qantas should instead start considering the benefits of offering pornography to its customers. While Mrs Smith might be worried about the moral corruption of little Tommy and Jane watching the bumping and grinding on the man’s screen in seat 45 B, at least she doesn’t have to worry about them dropping dead from deep vein thrombosis. We should all take a deep breath and remember that every cloud has a silver lining, just make sure that you wipe it down first.

- Kent Valentine