Obama safe from stupid morons

Three men were detained last week over an alleged plot to assassinate Barack Obama. However right from the start it never seemed like much of a plot. For instance, the ‘ringleader’ was driving around drunk in his car with guns, walkie-talkies and wigs – it sounded more like he was after Batman than Barack.

One of the other men fled from police by jumping from a sixth floor window, which seems a bit extreme. Someone should tell this guy the only real reason to jump from a sixth floor window is if you’re being chased by The Predator. If it’s only the cops, well… probably best just to stay put and answer their queries. I agree that getting arrested sucks, but it sucks more to go to jail with busted ankles.

But see, here’s the thing. The assassination plot was totally made up. When the ‘ringleader’ was pulled over for an offence totally unrelated to murdering the democratic nominee, it was then that he decided to announce his intention to assassinate Obama. I don’t know about you, but if I was being arrested for drink-driving, I wouldn’t add to my troubles by making up a story about planning to kill a prominent politician. Perhaps I’m missing something, but it just doesn’t seem the best way of dealing with that specific situation.

In fact the arrestees weren’t criminal masterminds at all, but simply drug-taking racists - and the ringleader’s ranting threats held about as much water as a pair of steel trousers. As an aside, I don’t even know how one can function as a drug-taking racist – are you also supposed to hate purple people and dinosaurs too?

Probably the so-called plot was just a misunderstanding on the way to the 7-11, when one of the men proclaimed he could really ‘murder some chocolate’.

God that’s a lot of build-up for one lousy pun.