Revelation: ruling class is rich

Last week Labor accused newly appointed Opposition Leader Malcolm Turnbull of being too rich. The Opposition hit back by basically saying “What are you talking about? Kevin 07 is pretty rich too. It’s like the pot calling the kettle gold-plated with inlaid emeralds.” Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t actually start hurling money at each other.

Treasurer Wayne Swan led the rich-bashing on the Labor side. In parliament he wittily sniped that Mr Turnbull “thinks alcopops is the noise he makes when he uncorks the Moet”. You’re right Wayne, and Turnbull should know that 'alcopops' is actually a nonsense made-up buzz word for a type of spirit which your party recently made more expensive than damn Moet.

However Malcolm Turnbull claims that he is not out of touch. “I know what it's like to be very short of money,” he said. “I know what it's like to live in rented flats.” Ah yes, finally a voice for the down trodden flat-renters of Australia. Although we don’t really call them flats anymore.

What seems to have been established during this compelling back and forth, is that our leaders are pretty damn rich. A most unusual occurrence to be sure, for if you look at history I’m sure you’ll find that it’s very rare indeed for a ruler to be rich. Oh wait, just a second… now that I really think about it, that statement doesn’t quite seem right. In fact it may even have been sarcastic.

Actually, criticising a politician by saying he’s rich seems kind of like criticising a badger for being furry - it’s just nature’s way. In fact it’s advantageous to have rich politicians because it makes them more difficult to bribe. “What do you mean, $1 million to let you drill the Barrier Reef? Har, I think you’ll be needing a little more than that!”

Plus, at the end of the day, who would you prefer in charge of the country – a man who has managed to build businesses and run them successfully, or some hobo with bad credit who can’t even get himself a mobile phone contract? If you want the hobo, I’d politely suggest you’re also the type of person who likes your badgers bald.

In conclusion, at least Brendan Nelson has finally fucked off.